I was born into Christianity, and spent my growing up years as a pastor's daughter, living both in the states, and later overseas as a missionary kid. When I was younger, I accepted my parents' faith as my own, which was normal and appropriate. Children often adopt the religious views of their parents; geography and culture also play a role in determining the acceptance of a particular faith or absence thereof. As young adults, however, we are exposed to more of the world, and acquire new information. This allows us a broader perspective with which to determine our own path in life; subsequently, our views may or may not change.
By the time I was an adult in my late thirties, I had moved completely away from religion and considered myself a dedicated Agnostic. I met the Dashings several years later, who also happened to share an Agnostic/Atheistic view. Since the entire family loves to engage in lively debate and approach controversial subjects from every angle, my spiritual background, combined with their own perspectives, continues to inspire fantastic philosophical discussions!
Coming from a religious background that witnessed both sincerity and hypocrisy among its saints, I was genuinely impressed that the Dashings, as non-believers, demonstrated exemplary Christian values. Growing up listening to a plethora of ministers and sermons, I had always been taught that the 'fruits of the spirit', (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - Galatians 5:22-23) were the direct evidence of becoming a Christian. Of course, I realized these traits weren't specific to people of faith - if that were true, it would mean all non-believers were mean-hearted jerks!
Truthfully, though, I had never personally seen such practical application of these values so successfully demonstrated on a daily basis. In the absence of religion, they are not borrowing these qualities from another source, nor is there any struggle to do the right thing - the Dashings simply live it because these qualities are intrinsic to their hearts.
Since leaving the faith, I've recognized a common misconception among Christians: that a lack of faith in a higher power results in the absence of a moral code. They seem to think that non-believers, Athiests in particular, do whatever they want and whatever feels good in the moment, simply because they don't believe in the consequence of hell.
Sound illogical? It is.
To assign a person's morality based upon their religious preference is highly presumptive.
Morality is defined as 'principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior'. With all due respect to Christians, the Bible doesn't own the 'corner on the market' regarding morality, nor does being 'saved' equate to behaving like a responsible adult. If that were the case, we'd see less believers make an embarrassing mockery of their faith when their own immoral behavior is made public, and plenty of ex-believers who suddenly become hellions or common criminals the moment they leave the faith.
Of course, since we're all imperfect humans, misrepresentations are bound to happen. However, loyalties to a particular creed should compel one to be a positive role model whose actions correctly align with his or her message. Convincing arguments in favor of any religious preference should begin, and end, with reasonable, logical discussion - leaving the name-calling and finger-pointing where it belongs - on the kindergarten playground.
In the end, how we treat others who are different is perhaps one of the best indicators of our moral condition, and the true nature of our character.
Rika
Excerpt from I Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.