Is The Glass Half-Full or Half-Empty?

Most people who know me would say I see the glass as half-full.  

While acknowledging that others may not have been afforded the same opportunities as myself....

I will be the first to admit - my life is ridiculously awesome. 

I do not live in a bubble.  There are shadows that occasionally attempt to blur my vision.  The timing of these cloudy moments is not something I can control.  However, granting the power for these to emotionally cripple me or to chase them away with factual logic - is up to me.

Being positive isn't intrinsic to human nature.  It's not something you blindly rush into, regardless of circumstances.  It's a choice, made after careful consideration of all factors involved.  The following are tried and true coping mechanisms I have developed over the years.  These may or may not work for you, but they are excellent methods of weeding out negative thoughts.

> Make a list of the qualities and characteristics you like about yourself, your life.  These can range anywhere from the fact that you have a great smile or that you love the car you drive.  Read this list often and refer to it when you feel yourself feeling less than content with life.

> Connect with friends or loved ones.  Spending time with others takes your mind off of your troubles and helps you forget the reason you were ever down in the first place.

> Do something nice for someone.  Demonstrate kindness to others.  Besides the obvious benefit to the recipient, this is a guaranteed way of giving you a more optimistic outlook.

> Look for the positive.  Remember the 'I Spy' game you played as a child?  Instead of 'I spy something green', replace it with, "I spy something positive".  Once you focus your attention towards it, you'll find it's all around you.

> Rationalization.  This simply means recognizing how circumstances could be worse.  For example:  "I may not be where I want to be in my career, but at least I have a job in an uncertain economy."  Practicing this tactic has a remarkable way of bringing things into perspective.

> Take a walk.  Exercise is a fantastic way of clearing your mind and has been proven to regulate chemicals in our brains which promote feelings of well-being.

> Don't take things for granted.  Life is fleeting - what is in our hands today may be gone tomorrow.  Understand and appreciate what you have in the Now.

> Play a favorite upbeat song.  Music has a way of improving your mood and lifting your spirits.  One of my 'go to' songs is Armen Van Buren's 'Going Wrong'.  It's an anthem about moving forward with life despite not knowing the outcome.

Life is too short to waste time on being pessimistic.  The old adage rings true, "Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it."  

The choice is yours.

Rika

Armen Van Buren - Going Wrong (Lyrics below)

Yea, I keep dreaming
That I have it all
Ooh, I'm still craving
To have you by my side

I know our love is fading
But soon it will shine

And I can't see today
And I can't see tomorrow
You're burning out my head
And in my brain it's going wrong

And I will live today
And I will love tomorrow
No matter what is said or done
Even if it's going wrong

Even if it's going wrong 
You're burning out my head

I keep searching
Forever in your eyes
I'll be careful
But soon we will shine

And I can't see today
And I can't see tomorrow
You're burning out my head
And in my brain it's going wrong

And I will live today
And I will love tomorrow
No matter what is said or done
Even if it's going wrong

Even if it's going wrong 
You're burning out my head

Even if it's going wrong

You're burning out my head
And I can't see today
And I can't see tomorrow 

You're burning out my head
And I will live today
And I will love tomorrow
No matter what is said or done
Even if it's going wrong

Just Calling It Like I See It

Despite our good intentions to present the better part of ourselves, human nature can sometimes get the best of us.  I certainly don't have all of the answers and am still learning some of these lessons myself.  The following are not intended to imply that I qualify myself as an authority to judge others.  They are simply observations I have made based upon my own life experiences.

On Happiness vs. Joy:

Happiness is determined by external factors and is somewhat temporary.  A person may consider themselves happy when circumstances coincide with what they want or think they deserve.  When things don't go as planned; however, that 'happy' feeling fades and is replaced by negativity.  

Joy doesn't require a specific formulated environment to be present.  It is a state of mind and attitude - internal and constant.  

On Being Fulfilled:

Take ownership of what brings you fulfillment and learn to generate your own positivity.  Making someone else responsible for your own happiness is unreasonable and selfish.  Blaming others for your poor attitude puts a continual drain on those around you and leads to resentment.  

On Character:

An excellent litmus test for determining someone's character is to gauge their reaction when they don't get their way.  Adverse circumstances have a remarkable way of revealing someone's true nature.

On Negativity:

Don't complain about the same problem repeatedly.  People are usually willing to listen sympathetically and give advice about a legitimate concern.  If you choose not to take that advice; however, it becomes wearisome to go through the cycle of rinse.wash.repeat.  If you can fix it, do so, otherwise you are being socially abusive to those that tolerate your negativity.  

On Giving:

Giving to others from abundance or while benefiting from it becomes a matter of convenience, not generosity.  Being unselfish requires sacrifice.

On Relationships:

Respect, trust and love should never be taken for granted.  They must be earned.  To maintain the privilege to keep them, it requires dedication and commitment.

It is easy to say I love you, but the demonstration of that love through daily actions speak louder than any words ever could.

On Women vs. Men:

In an argument, a girl that resorts to crying is the equivalent of a guy losing his temper.  Both are coping mechanisms, yet our society feels sorry for the girl and penalizes the guy.

There is no difference between a girl going on a date with a guy expecting him to  entertain her, and a guy eating a home-cooked dinner the girl made and not offering to help clean the dishes.  Both take the other person for granted by contributing nothing.

Women demand the same equal rights as men, but resort to using the excuse of "I'm just a girl" when it fits their agenda to be selfish and not step up to the plate.

On Conditional Love:  

Others tend to love you as long as you fit their idea of who or what you should be or if they don't feel like your personal growth is somehow detracting from their own success. It is a selfish love that insists on boxing you in to conform to their own limitations and fears. 

I believe a truer measure of real love is when someone encourages your fulfillment at the risk of you potentially outgrowing the relationship.  It is fortunate indeed if you find someone who strives for their own growth as well as encouraging you in your own - this leads to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship for both of you.

On Personal Beliefs:  

For most people, their chosen faith is based upon what their parents believed and the geographical location they grew up in.  Life experiences may or may not change their view. Regardless of influences that led them to their choices, everyone is entitled to their own personal perspective.  It is important to understand the difference between acknowledging our individual opinions and attempting to coerce or influence others to accept our beliefs as their own.  You can preach at someone all you like, but unless they believe what you say in their heart, your efforts are wasted and become more about your ego than any desired conversion.

I don't profess to be associated with any particular faith, however:

I believe

in common courtesy, decency and respect for all mankind.

I believe 

in treating others the way I would like to be treated.

I believe 
in giving people the benefit of the doubt, until they prove they aren't worthy.

I believe

in doing the right thing, even when no one is around to acknowledge it.

I believe

in not toning myself down to make others more comfortable with their own failures.

I believe

in not letting my fears define who I am.

I believe

you should keep trying until you succeed.  If you don't, you'll always regret it.

I believe 

that appreciating what I have is crucial to maintaining a positive attitude.

I believe 

that being an excellent caretaker of what I have been given leads to being given more.

I believe
that while life is not always easy, it is always worth it.
I believe
that something worth having is worth the risk it requires to obtain it.
I believe
that when things get hard, you set your mind and keep going.
I believe
that everything you experience teaches you something, if you are willing to learn.

I believe
people can change the world, even if it is only one persons world.
I believe
this state which we call life is a beautiful gift.

Rika

**The below video is of a favorite instrumental remix.  This young man is very talented - this particular piece leaves me feeling positive every single time.  Enjoy!**

Red Lemonade Remix - Ronald Jenkees

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”  -Martha Washington

"Life is what you make it.  Always has been, always will be."  -Eleanor Roosevelt