The Shunning

From past articles, readers know my poly-fidelitious relationship has caused discord with my parents, ultimately resulting in their silent condemnation.  After 3 years of estrangement, however - my mother recently contacted me, seeking reconciliation. Since then, we've taken significant steps toward healing.

Unfortunately, my dad remains silent; our last communication was over 3 years ago.  At the time - after expressing his disappointment in my lifestyle, my lack of belief in God, and condemning my sinful ways - he washed his hands of my 'reprobate mind'. 

His parting advice was...

"Contact me when you're on the bottom, and I'll come pray you out."
 For all intents and purposes, it would seem he continues an unyielding grip on this rigid  perspective.

The irony of the situation does not escape me.

Without divulging irrelevant and confidential details, allow me to explain.

About 35 years ago, my dad (both a pastor and foreign missionary) went through a series of very challenging circumstances.  Subsequently, after painful deliberation, he voluntarily turned in his ministerial license and left a thriving ministry overseas. 

The international church organization we were affiliated with at the time immediately condemned and rejected him.  

He never heard from them again.

                                                 To this day.

                                                                  Shunned.

He has oft referred to the years that followed as his 'personal wilderness'; journeying through the emotional turmoil that ultimately led to his spiritual independence. These days, he has found a measure of healing as he ministers via his own blog and daily interactions with people.  

Yet..... he seems unable to draw the connection between his past persecution by the religious community - and his excommunication of me in the present.  

Alright.

• How do you serve as an ambassador for the kingdom but yet refuse actual interaction with the 'sinner'? Preachers will venture into bars to win a lost soul. Heck, even Jesus ate with sinners.

• Wouldn't there be a better chance of influencing those you wish to win for Christ by treating them with respect and kindness? #PoliticiansEatThisShitForBreakfast 

• If scripture quoting and sermonizing pushed me away instead of drawing me closer, wouldn't it make sense to try a different approach? Every salesman uses multiple approaches in order to convince his audience and close the deal.

• Have you forgotten how it felt to be annihilated with silent condemnation from those who claim to live, eat and breathe God's love?  It's disheartening to witness the same damaging pattern repeat itself - as you color my own lifestyle with an identical black crayon.

It is apparent the 'peace that passes all understanding' replaced any effort to find an effective approach towards a better way.

Rika 

Religion - The Bad Parent - Theramin Trees