Charles, Marie and I have been so immersed in the plethora of good things our extraordinary life affords, I've found it difficult to tear myself away from everything to write. We've seen one son get a new job, another a new girlfriend, and are also joyfully anticipating our daughter giving birth to the very first grandchild! Marie and I spent a recent weekend visiting an amusement park, losing our voices as we laughed and screamed with delight while riding coaster after roller coaster. We also shared childhood memories, and reminisced about the last three years we've spent together with Charles, discussing plans for our family's future. We were so excited that instead of coming home from the park exhausted, we literally walked in the door and immediately set to work moving furniture and redesigning two rooms in the house! Additionally, Charles recently introduced us to an excellent co-op video game that has the entire household playing together at every opportunity, saturating almost every conversation with our latest virtual adventures!
It's not that everything goes our way. It's just that the three of us have a good attitude when things don't.
Other important news.
In Keeping it Real, I mentioned my plan to reveal my poly relationship status to my co-workers. My colleagues represent all walks of life, including several who hold religious and/or conservative viewpoints. I had no guarantee how this information would be received, but felt it important to share this important detail of my identity. Since most people are unfamiliar with my particular family structure, I was obligated to include a bit of 'poly education' in my presentation.
It's not easy to broach a subject which most would label socially awkward; however, I am thrilled to report that my 'coming out' was very well-received. Initially, the reaction was a raised eyebrow and quizzical expression, as they grasped the fact that my family included 'another woman'! Although a bit surprised at my unusual announcement, after asking a few questions, they were able to acknowledge the benefits of such an arrangement. I'm convinced that since I've always spoken well of the excellent relationship Charles and I share, it was easier for them to transition and accept this detail as part of my peaceful and connected home life.
It's been several weeks since I shared my news, and I have yet to be treated any differently. No odd looks, just the same respect and warmth I've always encountered. Actually, there's even been some good-natured teasing on occasion!
When trading 'weekend stories' on a Monday morning, I'm now able to share the full truth, instead of holding back part of the story and speaking only of Charles and the boys. It's intrinsic to who I am, and gives both Marie and our extraordinary relationship the respect it deserves. I am not naive enough to believe it will always be so positively received. In fact, sometimes the criticism can come from where you least expect it.
A close family member who previously always demonstrated overwhelming love and support, chose to regard this lifestyle choice as grounds for rejection and separation. Reconciliation will always be welcome, but after multiple attempts at rational conversation have failed, there is no purpose gained by allowing the shamefulness of their actions to cast negative shadows on my happiness. The reality of dealing with a situation of this nature can affect me positively or negatively. I choose to move forward. Buddha is quoted as saying, "Being angry is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."
The shared joy and tender memories they are missing out on by holding onto such a rigid mindset is retribution enough.
In the meantime, my heart and life are overflowing, surrounded by genuine, kind hearts and positive options for personal growth. Charles and I often remark on the quandry of choosing between so many good things with which to occupy our time. The truth is, I'm enjoying my life so much - I often intentionally sacrifice sleep in order to extend every single moment of my waking world.
Rika
“The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth.” - Albert Einstein