Platitudes & Gratitudes

Excerpt of a morning email from Charles, sent several days ago.  Charles is an excellent partner, expressing gratitude and appreciation to both Marie and I on a daily basis. 

Good morning party people!!

Good to be alive and feel the light and warmth of Now.  

AND -- to have such delightful lifemates to share that with!  Yessssshhhhh.

I’ll begin with my platitudes of gratitude…  for haircuts, packed dinners and lunches. For good discussions.  

You guys are the cat’s pajamas, the bee’s knees and a bag o’ chips!   

And I just love you for it.   

Rika:  I gotta say - you did Oversleep proud this morning!  You look really classy and smart in that dress.  Well put-together.    And hey, extra points for stepping up to help our son last night when you were dead on your feet.....that was just Right.   By the way, I have enough leftovers to get me through… you really don’t need to cook. But rather you do or don’t; thank you!  

And you do know I haz a car, right?   I knows where they keep The Krogers and The Wendy’s!!   (At Krogers and Wendy’s… am I right?!)   Heh. =P

And Marie...I just luvs ya, kid.  You were a dreamy lil' mess this morning.  I love sharing stories with you and greeting you each day.  Excellent job on your test scores!  You're doing great, but I know it's work and you need time to study as well as time for play.  Speaking of, did we agree to tennis tomorrow after work?  I can't remember if you said Yes...but if tomorrow isn't good, we could take another swing at it over the weekend. See what I did there?  Lol.

Tonight, I’ve got to stumble my way onto the treadmill.  After that – it’s TO INFINITY AND BEYOND for me (No Man’s Sky) ---- unless we decide to play Overwatch… or Evolve… or lightsaber, or Pokemon hunt, … or watch more Stranger Things.  The sky is the limit!

You remain two of my most favorite beings of all time…  

Alright.   Nuff said ----

Here’s to a quick day and a looooong, summer weekend! 

All of my love,

- Charles

Happy, Growing and Busy

For those who follow my blog, my apologies for not writing since April. Things are going very well!  In between the business of home and work life, I've been working on a secondary blog which is solely dedicated to emails sent from Charles.

He's an eloquent writer, but more importantly, his upstanding character is demonstrated to Marie and I - both in every day life at home and in the thousands of emails we've exchanged in the last 6 1/2 years.

As I often say, he's kept every one of his promises from Day One.

Once I've identified and uploaded a sizeable amount of material, I'll release the address - not because it's homework!  This secondary blog is only for those who care to dig deeper into the nuances of our polyfidelitous relationship.

Stay Posted!

Rika

On Lowering Expectations

"Some of the people in our lives may never walk as fast or smoothly as we desire. Instead of chafing at the bit and getting frustrated with what we perceive to be their inadequacies, we are better served to let go of our expectations and allow them to Be. While that seems both counterintuitive and counterproductive, it allows us to love them more appropriately.  

It releases us from the emotional attachment to an expected outcome; the false entitlements our ego attempts to manufacture.  

The best Me should never be at the mercy of someone else's blurry vision. Who has not the eyes to see, the ears to hear, nor the capacity for the introspection and connectivity it takes to correctly love themselves or others. 

The disparity of distance this creates is unfortunate.  However, if we slow to a steady pace - which allows them to plod along but also leaves us room to grow - it is manageable."  

-Rika

The Shunning

From past articles, readers know my poly-fidelitious relationship has caused discord with my parents, ultimately resulting in their silent condemnation.  After 3 years of estrangement, however - my mother recently contacted me, seeking reconciliation. Since then, we've taken significant steps toward healing.

Unfortunately, my dad remains silent; our last communication was over 3 years ago.  At the time - after expressing his disappointment in my lifestyle, my lack of belief in God, and condemning my sinful ways - he washed his hands of my 'reprobate mind'. 

His parting advice was...

"Contact me when you're on the bottom, and I'll come pray you out."
 For all intents and purposes, it would seem he continues an unyielding grip on this rigid  perspective.

The irony of the situation does not escape me.

Without divulging irrelevant and confidential details, allow me to explain.

About 35 years ago, my dad (both a pastor and foreign missionary) went through a series of very challenging circumstances.  Subsequently, after painful deliberation, he voluntarily turned in his ministerial license and left a thriving ministry overseas. 

The international church organization we were affiliated with at the time immediately condemned and rejected him.  

He never heard from them again.

                                                 To this day.

                                                                  Shunned.

He has oft referred to the years that followed as his 'personal wilderness'; journeying through the emotional turmoil that ultimately led to his spiritual independence. These days, he has found a measure of healing as he ministers via his own blog and daily interactions with people.  

Yet..... he seems unable to draw the connection between his past persecution by the religious community - and his excommunication of me in the present.  

Alright.

• How do you serve as an ambassador for the kingdom but yet refuse actual interaction with the 'sinner'? Preachers will venture into bars to win a lost soul. Heck, even Jesus ate with sinners.

• Wouldn't there be a better chance of influencing those you wish to win for Christ by treating them with respect and kindness? #PoliticiansEatThisShitForBreakfast 

• If scripture quoting and sermonizing pushed me away instead of drawing me closer, wouldn't it make sense to try a different approach? Every salesman uses multiple approaches in order to convince his audience and close the deal.

• Have you forgotten how it felt to be annihilated with silent condemnation from those who claim to live, eat and breathe God's love?  It's disheartening to witness the same damaging pattern repeat itself - as you color my own lifestyle with an identical black crayon.

It is apparent the 'peace that passes all understanding' replaced any effort to find an effective approach towards a better way.

Rika 

Religion - The Bad Parent - Theramin Trees